Assets
by Rainb0wNinja
Summary: While cleaning, Eren discovers one of Levi's more outstanding assets, and can't help but stare. Eventually he just has to have more. Crackish Ereri oneshot, rated for language and suggestive themes.


Eren was being tortured. Really, he was. What he did to deserve this cruel punishment was still unknown, but it must have been something terrible, because the Corporal was making this as excruciating as possible. The worst part of it all? The man was seemingly unaware of what he was doing. They had been cleaning the old castle rather vigorously today and Levi had decided to stay in the same room with Eren to make sure he actually did his job. It was just the two of them. Eren was busy dusting and wiping down an old bookshelf when he noticed the way his Corporal was cleaning. Granted the guy always cleaned with the same amount of effort as he killed titans, but today something was different. Or maybe Eren was just barely noticing it. Either way, cleaning was now impossible, because his eyes were glued to Levi's perfectly shaped ass.

Yes, his ass.

Levi had gotten on his hands and knees to scrub at a stubborn spot, his backside in the air for Eren to gawk at. He was mesmerized by the way it shook every time Levi would move his arm, sometimes going at a slow, teasing pace, and then shaking quickly when Levi became irritated at the stain. He had almost gotten caught when Levi apparently sensed he was being stared at. Eren was quick to look away, his neck damn near snapping, and began cleaning the shelf again. Once he heard the sound of scrubbing he would look back, eyes roaming over the two rounded pieces of taut flesh. Oh, how he wanted to fill his hands with those delicious mounds. The urge to slap Levi's ass was becoming too much.

Eventually Levi managed to get the stain removed, standing and once again glancing at Eren. He quickly looked away again, sweating nervously at the idea of being caught. The Corporal would kill him. But dammit, it wasn't Eren's fault! How could he _not_ stare when Levi was making it so obvious? Was he secretly doing it on purpose? No, Levi would never. This was pure coincidence, and it was both a blessing and a curse.

After a few minutes Eren decided to check on Levi, hoping to catch a glimpse of his ass again. His nose nearly erupted with blood when he saw Levi cleaning a window, bending down ever so slightly. As his arm moved in circles, so did his ass. Levi's eyebrows furrowed as a little spot refused to come off, being at the bottom of the window. This time blood slowly dripped out of Eren's nose when he bent his knees, legs apart, and wiped vigorously at the spot. Levi was just too tempting for his own good.

Once that spot was gone, Levi stood up, ass sticking out slightly as he did. His eyes darted to Eren, and for a second he thought he had been caught. It was hard to hide blood, and Levi had a sharp eye. Thankfully, Levi remained quiet and resumed cleaning, stretching as high as he could to reach the top. Eren chose that moment to look, jaw dropping at the way Levi's already tight pants clung to his backside as he stretched.

Something in Eren snapped.

He had to touch that ass, even if it killed him. He would die happy anyways. Levi was too focused on cleaning to notice Eren sneaking up behind him, hand reaching out slowly. He stopped at a safe distance from his Corporal, hand cocked back as far as it would go. He took a deep breath, silently saying his last prayers and apologizing to Mikasa and Armin. They would miss him. But this was something he had to do.

With as much force as he could muster, his hand went flying, and a resounding slap filled the room. The sound was so loud, he was sure the entire castle could hear it. Eren took the smallest second to squeeze the assaulted globe before sprinting away, a terrified shriek escaping his lips.

The impact was so hard Levi was actually forced into the window, a surprised and pain filled grunt being the only noise he made. It took him an entire three seconds to realize what happened. Once he did, however, his eyes ignited with fury and he quickly chased after Eren, being much faster than the boy. Being short had its advantages. Eren screamed even louder when he realized Levi was right on his heels.

"Eren you shitty little fucker, I'm going to kill you!" Levi yelled, hand latching on to Eren's shirt and yanking the brat backwards. Eren's screams of terror echoed throughout the building, alerting all of the squad.

In the end, Eren had no regrets, even after his Corporal beat him bloody. Because that ass had felt like heaven, and Levi would have his handprint imprinted there for weeks, while Eren's wounds healed after a day. Granted, Levi would probably just keep beating him until that bruise went away, but still. Seeing his Corporal sit with an angry and uncomfortable face was priceless, and Eren felt good knowing he had marked his sexy Corporal.

* * *

><p><strong>Why did I write this? Really, I don't know why I did this, but it happened and here we are. Let's deal with it together and hope it doesn't happen again. That being said, I'd love to see this in picture form. One of those funny little comic things on Tumblr. That's where this idea originally came from anyways. At least I think it did...<strong>


End file.
